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By Northshire Outpatient Clinician Barbara Kingery

We spend a lot of time and energy seeking stability – of relationships, emotions, physical well-being.  We live as a mobile – balancing one situation with others.  And, like a mobile, we respond to the needs present at the time;  we make adjustments to regain a sense of steadiness.  We are of nature and we need to be reminded that our transitions are like the seasons.

This time in May, we moving from one season to another: from youth to adulthood, 30s to 40s, middle age to old age, ignorance to wisdom perhaps.  Just as our 30s are great grandparent to  our 60s, so is spring the mother of summer.

According to the Chinese Law of 5 Elements each time of year has its own characteristics.  Those traits exist to regulate the balance and are preparation for the next season.  In spring we are aware of wood and plants and, of course, the greening of the earth.  The wood in turn provides the fuel for the fire of summer’s heat and the color changes to red.  We see the green blossoms of spring explode into vibrant full blown flowers.  The Chinese Law identifies anger and jealousy as the emotions of spring.  Those transition into laughter and joy and passion with the arrival of summer.  And associated with anger, the liver, the organ of bile and jealousy and ill humor, may be more a problem in the spring.  Then, as this period moves into summer our own “heater” and perhaps our heart becomes vulnerable if we have not dealt with our anger.  Our internal thermostats and our hearts are the organs of summer.

 And so on – Summer is parent of Late Summer (the Harvest) which prepares for Fall which provides for Winter and then gives us Spring again.  The seasons appear as a mobile – each time of year a part of the mobile – creating a new balance.  Winter, spring, summer, late summer, and fall allow us, in mind/body/heart/spirit, equilibrium and we understand that there is always need for amendment.

The transformation provides occasion for natural adjustments.  Change generates balance – and it is the catalyst for creating stasis when the balance is askew.  What has happened to date prepares the ground for what will come.  Every moment of our lives has brought us to today.  And each experience has offered us a life altering opportunity.

Maybe everything we do is to maintain equilibrium.  When the time of year does not restore us or if we are already dysregulated, some unconscious mechanism takes charge and we find ourselves in a new state.  Perhaps too much drinking/drugging has landed us in CRASH, a partner has found a lover, we fear for our future, or our suppressed rage has hurt our heart.  When we are unstable enough, modification will happen.

Seasonal change is “normal” – it preserves  the balance.  When emotions, behaviors, or thoughts go beyond what we believe is functional – then a more dramatic “ righting of the wrongs” or compensation needs to occur.  Ideally, we become the architect of this shift.

The difficult part is knowing that you need to make an adjustment in order that change not “happen to you”.   Balance is not what is comfortable for us – it is what readies us for the next stage of our season.    When we feel out of balance, we will create a revision to bring about a new equilibrium.

In simple speak  - We need energy and so we drink coffee.  We worry that we said the wrong thing and so we make amends.  We feel scared and so we call a friend.  We hate ourselves and so we drink, we do drugs, we binge, we overwork, we avoid.  We are being abused and so we leave.  We cannot live with our need to be perfect and so we seek help.

Those examples restore equilibrium: some are subtle adjustments and others are more dramatic.  Most of the old patterns and habits that we find ourselves in have created for us a sense of stability – and those will change because we will not continue to hurt ourselves (emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually) without consequence.

Do you recognize your mobile?  Can you identify your seasons of change?  Do you see where your balance is shifting? Or needing to shift?  Can you identify how your mobile was one way and is now resetting itself?

By Facilities and Safety Administrative Manager Amy Fela

Working in UCS’ Facilities and Safety Division has given me knowledge that I have put in place in my personal life — knowledge around health, safety, and preventative maintenance.  Our Director of Facilities and Safety, Paul Becker, has been heard saying “take safety home” on more than one occasion.  Many of the government guidelines for businesses are also very practical for your home.  Below are a few practices to keep in mind for your own home to help protect your loved ones.

Alarms:  Smoke detectors should be installed on every floor of your home.  Carbon monoxide detectors should be installed near sleeping area.  If you already have these devices in place, test them.    Replace the batteries in your detectors at daylight-saving time change.

Escape:  When you test your alarms, practice your escape plan with your family.  Identify two exits for each room and a meeting space outside.

Fire Extinguishers:  Keep all-purpose fire extinguishers in important locations throughout your home:  the kitchen, bedroom, basement, and garage.  Check the expiration dates on the devices regularly and know how to use them safely.  If an extinguisher is not properly maintained, it may not work when you need it to.

Medications:  Keep all medications and medical supplies in a cabinet with a child-safety lock.  There are many medications that look like candy to young children (think gummy vitamins that look like a gummy candy, a laxative that looks like a chocolate bar, ibuprofen that looks like candy coated chocolate, etc.).  The appearance of something familiar that tastes good entices a child to ingest the product, posing the risk of accidental overdose or poisoning.

Water Temperature:  Your water temperature should be below 120 degrees Fahrenheit to prevent burns.

Emergency Planning:  Prepare for the unexpected.  Assemble a supply kit and family emergency plan to prepare for a natural disaster such as a hurricane, winter storm, flood, etc.  FEMA (www.ready.gov) has the information you need to begin this process.

Family Safety Trainings:  Attend trainings such as first aid, CPR, AED, and defensive driving (to name a few).  Trainings such as these could save the life of someone you love. 

This information and much more is available at www.safetyathome.com and  www.fema.org.

By Specialized Children’s Services Director Lorna Mattern

No matter what we do, we cannot protect our children, our families, or ourselves from adversity.  It is, after all, a natural part of life.  We have all experienced some kind of adversity such as work or school problems, illness, a divorce, loss, or crime.

Some of us, however, seem to handle it better than others.  Why is that?  One reason we are able to adapt is because we are resilient.   

Resiliency can be defined as the capacity to successfully adapt in the face of adversity, and develop social and academic competence despite exposure to severe stress or simply the stress of today’s world.  In other words, according to one 15 year old high school student, “resiliency is about bounding back from problems and stuff with more power and more smarts”.

Children, youth, and adults who “bounce back” share similar characteristics.  They generally have a feeling of self worth and confidence, a sense of personal control, use positive life skills such as good decision making, assertiveness, and impulse control, and they have a sense of humor.  Genetics play a part in resiliency, but these and other characteristics that form a resilient person can be taught and need to be nurtured over time.   

As adults and caregivers we are responsible to teach, practice, and use “bounce back” strategies to help our children, and for that matter, to help ourselves.   Providing children with the tools they need will allow them to respond to the challenges of adolescence and young adulthood and to navigate adulthood successfully.  In order to nurture resiliency, we need to work in different areas.  Within each area, the following factors foster resilience in children and youth:

Within the Family

• Close relationships with at least one caring and supportive adult who is a positive role model.
• Authoritative parents who are high on warmth and support but who also provide structure.
• Positive family climate with low family discord between parents and between parents and children.
• A home environment that has rituals and routines such as shared dinner times.

Within the Schools  

• Youth feel their school cares about them as students and cares about their learning (otherwise known as a feeling of “School Connectedness”).
• Ties to pro-social organizations such as clubs, sports, or extracurricular activities.
• Opportunities to learn and develop talents.

Within the Community

• High levels of public safety.
• Youth feel connected to and respected by their community
• Civic engagement is made available, such as opportunities for helping others.
• Support of cultural and religious traditions

There are many ways to help foster resiliency in children and adolescents which also help adults grow and learn to adapt better for themselves.

• Provide activity that is a challenge where they can succeed.
• Express confidence in your child.  Point out their strengths.
• Be kind, respectful and firm.
• Increase parental involvement in school.
• Remain calm and understanding when your child is upset.  Listen.
• Never let your child believe you don’t love them.
• Become involved in your child’s education and activities.
• Ask children for help.
• Let your child learn from their mistakes.  Don’t rescue your child.
• Exercise together.
• Volunteer together.
• Look on the bright side.  Be positive. 
• Help your child set future goals and make a plan to reach them.
• Help your child accept and understand their feelings.
• Help them make friends and be a friend.

Protecting our children against all of life’s unexpected painful events is not possible.  Giving them a sense of competency and the skills to face adverse circumstances can be a valuable legacy of all parents.  Resiliency can be built by understanding these important foundations.  The more we practice these approaches, the better able our children will be to weather whatever life brings.

“The resilient child is one who ‘works well, plays well, loves well and expects well’” (Bernard 1997)

By Developmental Services Community Support Manager Jeff Nunemaker

The UCS Developmental Services Division has been collaborating with community businesses and organizations to provide a variety of positive experiences for the adults we serve.  Here are some of the collaborations we’re currently involved in:

Anytime Fitness – A weekly exercise group has been adapted for individuals who may have difficulty exercising.  The exercise is focused on fun and hopefully will promote healthy living.

Bennington Health and Rehab – We volunteer to help facilitate a weekly volleyball game for residents.

Bennington Lanes – Morning and afternoon weekly bowling sessions occur through the winter.  This is a real favorite!

Bennington Tennis Center – Individuals participate in weekly adapted tennis lessons (another favorite activity), which are funded through the Mount Laurel Foundation.

BROC – Our participants volunteer to stock shelves.

Crescent Manor Nursing Home – Our program participants and residents of the nursing home volunteer together to stuff and sew teddy bears to be given to children by Rescue Squad, hospital, police, and fire personnel.

Second Chance Animal Shelter – Many of our participants volunteer to give the shelter animals some love.

Riley Rink –Individuals participate through the winter in ice skating with the use of adaptive equipment so that everyone can enjoy it.

Vermont Arts Exchange – A year-round therapeutic art class is offered and art shows are held to promote artistic expression.

We believe that not only do the adults we serve benefit from these collaborations, but the community does as well.  If anyone is interested in collaborating with us, we would be happy to speak with you about it.  Please contact Jeff Nunemaker at 442-5491 x 290 if you have any ideas!

Each year adult mentors across the country are honored during the month of January for their commitment to youth in America.

Nothing beats hangin' with a friend!

Big Brothers Big Sisters, a UCS program, has established youth mentoring programs throughout Bennington County and currently supports over 40 mentoring matches in local schools as well as in the community.

In January, our organization recognized these individuals (Bigs) for the many hours of personal time they spend with their littles arranging safe, supportive and fun experiences for them throughout the year.

Our Big Brothers and Big Sisters who serve as lunch time and/or community mentors were recently recognized in the Bennington Banner and the Manchester Journal along with the businesses that encourage them to participate once a week in our lunch-time mentoring programs. Bigs were also invited to celebrate National Mentoring Month at the West Mountain Inn where event highlights included a tasty lasagna dinner and safety training.

How do you spend your time? Do you build relationships?

Many people ask how these adults, many of whom are working 40+ hours a week, have the time or energy to be a Big Brother or Big Sister to a child in their community.  My answer to that question is always laced with stories, wonderful stories I hear from Big Brothers and Big Sisters who truly feel what they are doing is important.

How much time does it take to witness a 10-year-old child’s reaction after taking a bite of the first cupcake she has ever baked?  Well, you do have to pick her up at her home, take her to yours and then bake a batch of boxed cupcakes. Or, how much time does it take to hike around Equinox Pond on a cool, sunny, fall day and listen to your little brother describe what it feels like to take his first-ever hike in the woods?

One mentor could not get over the fact that his little, who is 8 years old, had never seen an escalator before! The mentor said riding the escalator was instant, free entertainment for both of them at the mall that day.

The stories are endless and the time, well… sometimes a match date is one hour and sometimes its three hours depending on what you both decide to do that day.   

Mentoring is the number one ingredient for a successful future.

 I would like write that all the children in Bennington County who could really benefit from an adult mentor have been matched with one, but that

would not be true. Big Brothers Big Sisters has a list of girls and boys of all ages, who are hoping to be matched with a caring adult sometime soon.

Some of these kids could meet a mentor once a week for lunch and recess at their school and plan what to do together. Others could meet with a mentor after school, in the evening, or on a weekend.  Their mentor would simply pick them up and spend time doing what they planned to do that day.

If you think you might be interested in knowing more about becoming a Big Brother or Big Sister in one of our programs, please email us in Bennington at dlockwood@ucsvt.org, and in Manchester at scottrell@ucsvt.org.   

There are some great boys and girls who sure could use you!

by Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services Director David M. O’Brien

We are well on our way into the holiday season.  Holiday parties are happening and people are making their plans as to where they are going to see the New Year in.  Although this time of year is a joyous one for most of us, it is a time that some find very challenging.  People who struggle with their weight find it hard to keep those extra pounds from mounting up. 

Others who have histories of substance abuse and addiction are exposed to so many more social situations in which alcohol and other drugs are commonplace.  And not necessarily connected to the holiday seasons, other addictions can be seen in so many families – compulsive gambling, work addition, sex or relationship addiction, shopping and spending addiction, and the growing problems with people being addicted to the Internet.

But keeping in the joyful spirit of the holidays, I want to talk about “positive addictions.”  I first came upon this concept when I read the book Positive Addictions by William Glasser (Harper and Row).  Glasser took the concept of “addiction” (the process of becoming dependent on something) and turned it around. 

We all know the effects of “negative” addictions.  Some of us may be struggling with our own demons, whether alcohol, food, drugs or gambling.  Glasser turned the concept 180 degrees by defining positive addictions as the process of becoming dependent on a behavior or an activity which fosters strength and makes our lives more satisfying.

The most common forms of positive addictions are exercise, meditation/prayer, music and forms of artful expression such as painting, quilting or other crafts.  Running, meditation and yoga are the ones that are most robust and about which most research has centered around. 

Glasser cites the results of this research in his book.  Among the results of positive addiction that people experience are: feeling more energy, needing less sleep, good weight control or loss of weight, increased mental strength, more confidence, more creativity, better health, being more tolerant and less angry, and the list goes on. 

In guiding us, Glasser suggests 6 points one should employ in choosing a positive addition.  First, it should be something non-competitive that you can devote approximately an hour a day to.  Second, it should be something that you can do easily and it doesn’t take a great deal of mental effort to do it well.  Third, you should be able to do it alone or rarely with others, but it does not depend on others to do it. 

Fourth, you need to believe that it has some value for you, whether physical, mental or spiritual.  Fifth, you need to believe that if you persist at it you will improve, but this is completely subjective.  You need to be the only one who measures that improvement.  And lastly, the activity must have the quality that you can do it without criticizing yourself.  If you cannot accept yourself during this time the activity will not be addicting.

The benefits of positive addictions are numerous, but it takes time to build up the “addiction.”  For example, Glasser suggests that for running most people take about a year before they cross over from doing it out of duty and dedication to doing it because they want to.  However, the dedication is well worth it for the end game. 

What are you doing for yourself related to positive addictions?

By Community Relations Director Robert Pini

The scandal at Penn State is a vivid illustration of how people remain unclear about their roles and responsibilities in witnessing abuse.

First, here’s the background. According to police indictments and media reports, a former coach is accused of sexually assaulting very young boys. And some individuals who apparently knew about the abuse did nothing on behalf of the victims even though they had the power and opportunity to intervene.

Clearly people need to know what to do when they witness child rape, and how bystanders can support vulnerable children and keep them safe from predators.

The short answer is that bystanders, witnesses, or people who discover abuse need to report it to the police. It’s the law, plain and simple. And it’s the best way to support the victim and stop the abuse.

In recent years, we’ve seen repeatedly how people fail to respond appropriately when they witness or become aware of child sexual abuse. They overlook the abuse, find excuses for it, or imagine they can stop the abuse by being sympathetic with the abuser.

This is especially true when the abuser has an influential position or positive reputation. While we don’t want to see our heroes fail, we clearly cannot overlook child sexual abuse, even when the perpetrator is a greatly admired figure.

Yet in scandal after scandal, people who witness or discover abusive behavior are confused about how to handle it properly and all too often fail to uphold their responsibility to the victim.

Child sexual abuse is a common problem in Bennington County. Abusers are almost always people who know the child well and have the chance to establish trust. And child sexual abuse happens in all socioeconomic classes.

When the abuser is a family member or close relative, it is especially difficult for other family members to hold the guilty person responsible. It may feel like a betrayal to call police on a family member, but contacting police can stop behavior that is extremely damaging to all family members.

An individual who becomes aware of child abuse carries a terrible burden of knowledge that can only be removed by reporting to police. It does not go away with the passing of time.

Sexual abuse can be terribly damaging to children, but quick disclosure to police in Bennington County brings a highly trained team of professionals into action.

Police, child protection, and mental and physical health professionals all work closely together to maximize support to the victim. This rapid, coordinated, and supportive response has the potential to be highly therapeutic to the abused children and their families.

Some even find it possible to move ahead quickly and put the betrayal and hurt behind them.

Discovering or witnessing child sexual abuse can be a very confusing and complicated situation. But the bottom line is a “no brainer.” Reporting it to police is the right thing to do. It helps the victim and gives everyone a chance to move forward with their lives.

By Director of Finance Jill Doyle

Every now and then something happens in life that takes you completely by surprise. It’s great when the surprise is good news – a new baby, a new job, you win the lottery. But, surprises are not always good. For instance, Hurricane Irene affected every single one of us in different ways. 

Even more recently, I was surprised by the death of my 31-year old niece. I spent a lot of time with my family following her death, and our support and love for each other got us through. But some of the things I learned almost shocked me. Her husband never handled any of the bills so he had no idea how much money they had, how to write a check or pay a bill online, or how to balance a checkbook.

They only had enough life insurance to pay for the funeral so he didn’t know how he would make the next car payment or the next house payment. They were a young couple so financial planning was not one of their top priorities. They thought they had time for that. Actually, I can really relate to these feelings but I took this time to look at my own family financial picture.

Take a look at your situation and answer these questions:

•  Do you have a health care proxy?
•  Do you have a will?Are your kids protected?
•  Do you know how much money you have in savings and checking?
•  Do you know what bills you have and when they are due?
•  Do you have life insurance?
•  Are you an organ donor?
•  Do you have contact numbers for immediate family members?
•  Do you know where important documents are located such as your marriage license?
•  What would happen to your family if something happened to you?

The internet has many resources that can help answer all of these questions.

Tragedies are not easy to deal with; but believe it or not, you can be prepared.

Take one step at a time with your loved ones involved. You might feel funny talking about all this but it is also amazing what you will find out along the way. Life is too short to worry about everything but the people who are closest to you will be forever grateful that you took the time now to think about them in the future!

By Leslie Addison, Human Resources Director

Do you need a new way to relax that’s simple, fun and affordable? If you do, then embark on writing a letter to someone special! Not only is it a way to enjoy a quiet break from your busy day, but it passes on that very same thing to the person at the other end. 

Try to remember a moment, anytime in your past, when you discovered an envelope in your mailbox hand-addressed to you. I don’t mean a bill, or a sales flyer, or the latest Sear’s catalogue; I mean a handwritten letter.  Do you recall that warm feeling of excitement? The anticipation of getting it opened and the smile on your face as you read the words?  I do, and I always considered those moments as unexpected little gifts.  Why, you ask, would I write a letter if I can just type up a quick e-mail and move on to the next item on my list of things to do? Well, let’s consider that very question.

Technology has brought us fascinating ways to communicate efficiently and with immediate results.  We can post messages on Twitter and Facebook, send e-mails, instant messages and texts. We use Blogs such as this. Quickly and easily we can send an identical message to dozens of people in the flash of a keystroke! Using Skype, we actually don’t even have to write anything at all. So why’s all that so bad?  In and of itself it isn’t, but it’s what we’re giving up that’s concerning.  We’re forgetting the art of the handwritten letter and the joy it brings to both parties. 

Letter writing goes beyond just putting words on paper. It’s the process of creating and the satisfaction of the finished product that makes it special. Think of what our Declaration of Independence would look like if it was simply typed in Times New Roman font size 12, and “John Hancock” was just a size 48 bold. The character of the document would be missing; the essence of emotion from each pen stroke would be lost.  Creating a letter is also a hobby to be enjoyed.  The finished product is different each time, never quite knowing how it’ll come out until the end.  There’s a bit of personality in each one.  Penmanship is unique, as is the selection of stationary or pen. Ink on paper is permanent and by accepting that, there’s a bit more stream of consciousness and less worry about the wording. There are no backspace or delete buttons, so often what is written sounds like how you’d speak. How many times have you said, “It was so nice to hear your voice.”?  I believe the same impact holds true when reading a letter written just for you. 

As a culture we are losing our skills in cursive.  Simultaneously, we’ve developed very high expectations for immediate access to, and rapid response from, the people with whom we communicate.  Together, it puts the practice of letter writing in danger of extinction. This age-old form of personal communication can’t go by the wayside to quick e-mails, ‘Reply-all’s, standardized fonts and happy face symbols. Help prevent this from happening!  Get some paper, choose your favorite pen, find a special place to sit, relax for a moment, and compose a letter to someone special. My guess is that by the time you’ve sealed the envelope, adhered a postage stamp and dropped it in a mailbox, you’ll feel more relaxed and a bit happier.  You can also be assured that in a few days, someone will enjoy your sentiments as well!

By Victor Martini, Community Rehabilitation and Emergency Services Director

The great debate about what works in behavioral healthcare has been gaining speed. On the one hand some practitioners advocate for the use of methods that have been shown to work repeatedly, so called Evidence Based Practice, or EBP.

Evidence Based Practice is determined through the collection of client data over time. With enough data from different clients, it’s possible to assess different mental healthcare therapies to see which ones work best. Once a model has been identified as an EBP it is broken down into several parts so that it can be followed faithfully.

Other practitioners line up behind an approach that focuses on the relationship between a client and his/her counselor and relies on feedback from the client about how things are going. This method seeks to define how to maintain positive alignment between client and counselor to facilitate a good outcome. “I can only help you if you are able to influence the type and manner of help that I provide to you. Your information to me about how it is going is more important than the type of practice that I provide.”

Among the EBP camp are those who emphatically uphold their particular therapeutic model, such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Illness Management and Recovery, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Integrated Dual Disorders Treatment, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing  just to name a few. These therapeutic models are followed faithfully to assure positive predictable results.

On the other hand, advocates of immediate feedback seek immediate positive results. They argue that EBP methods alone are simply a mechanized “cookbook,” but superior results depend on good, reliable and rapid feedback, which creates good alignment between the client and counselor. The client needs to convey to the counselor how well he/she is functioning and how the counselor is doing at making a connection with the client and helping him/her progress.

So, where does this great debate stand today?

As a member of the Clinical Practices Advisory Panel (CPAP), I have worked for several years with the Department of Mental Health in partnership with the Vermont Council of Developmental and Mental Health Services to review Evidence Based Practices in adult mental health and to make recommendations to the mental healthcare system.

After extensive research, the panel made recommendations common to all Evidence Based Practices. Here is a link to the recommendations:

First and foremost the panel found that good outcomes are linked to the manner in which practices are delivered. In other words, Evidence Based Practices are excellent therapeutic tools. But to be fully effective, they depend on good alignment between the client and counselor. Here’s an example of this relationship between the two approaches:

A highly recognized expert in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was discussing a particularly difficult client who was not progressing in treatment despite the best work of skilled and dedicated people. The client had successfully completed a DBT skills training group. She had worked with a therapist who was highly skilled in DBT. The client consistently used after-hours telephone coaching.

Despite the impressive array of services, the client was steadily regressing. Colleagues provided many helpful suggestions: “Perhaps a refresher on affect regulation skills.” “Maybe the therapist should review the client’s diary cards to look for recent trends.” “Cognitive restructuring might be helpful.”

After reviewing these options, inspiration struck and the DBT expert realized what to do with exciting clarity that brought a smile to her face: “I’ll take her out for a cup of cappuccino,” she thought. “There is no limit to the exhausting number of service techniques we might offer. There is no limit to fine-tuning the treatment plan. There is, however, a limit on the quality of the relationship that we build with the client. When nothing is working, that is the time to re-establish the relationship.”

Whenever a client is not doing well in treatment I always have to look at the therapeutic relationship I have with the client. How is that alignment working? Is it producing a good outcome?

In the end EBPs are the limitless techniques that we might and should have in our clinical bag of tools. I believe that the successful use of those tools depends more upon the quality of the relationship with the client than the skills with which we follow fidelity to the practices.

It is more about the person than about the practice.

Where do we go from here? In Vermont, we are developing an Evidence Based Practice Cooperative. It will serve as a clearing house for resources and information on best practices. Additionally it is hoped that the cooperative will support the use of data collection, outcomes-monitoring and community-based research to evaluate the effectiveness of Vermont’s mental health system. In essence the cooperative will bring both EBP and alignment-focused approaches to community mental health agencies.

I am pleased and grateful to be a member of the development committee that is working hard to establish a practice cooperative. It is my hope that a successful cooperative will serve to improve not just the quality of services available but more importantly the quality of the lives of people.