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United Counseling Service is concerned about the health and safety of those affected by the recent flooding and storm damage. Flood-related loss can cause a great deal of stress for affected individuals, communities and recovery workers. It is important to take care of yourself and your family throughout the storm recovery effort.

Immediately following a natural disaster, people typically respond with shock and denial, meaning that you may feel stunned, numb or disconnected. When the shock has passed, reactions will vary among different people, and may include:

• Intense and unpredictable moods
• Anxiety and nervousness; feeling out of control
• Difficulty concentrating and making decisions
• Disrupted sleep and eating patterns
• Stress-related headaches, nausea and chest pain

Remember that it is normal to experience these symptoms, and there are basic things that you can do to relieve some of the stress. In the days and weeks following a natural disaster, you may be so busy that you forget or ignore simple routines that can greatly impact your health. It is important to take care of yourself, and make time to do the following:

• Maintain your energy by eating healthy foods and avoid excess caffeine, junk food, alcohol, drugs and tobacco.
• Exercise and stretch your muscles frequently.
• Get adequate sleep and rest.
• Avoid injury during cleanup. Do not lift anything that is dangerously heavy.
• Practice stress reduction techniques such as deep breathing, meditation and mindfulness to calm your body and mind.
• Talk to friends, family and coworkers about your emotions.

Flood cleanup efforts will likely require a significant amount of time, and some days will be better than others. Use healthy coping skills to get yourself and your family through this experience. It can help to remind yourself of the following:

• Try to be patient because the cleanup and restoration will take time. Adjust your expectations and be realistic about what you can accomplish.
• Expect that you will experience a range of emotions and changing moods.
• People with a history of mental health problems may find their symptoms get worse during times of stress. Be sure to seek help as needed.
• Take time to help children cope with their feelings. Provide extra affection and reassurance.
• Focus on the big picture rather than the small details.
• Make a list of things that need to be done, set priorities for tasks and try not to get overwhelmed.
• Don’t focus too much attention those things that you cannot control and put your energy toward things that you can change.
• Set aside time for regular tasks that are unrelated to the flood cleanup.

by Specialized Children’s Services Director Lorna Mattern

Children respond to trauma in many different ways. Some may have reactions very soon after the event; others may do fine for weeks or months, and then begin to show troubling behavior. Knowing the signs that are common at different ages can help parents and teachers recognize problems and respond appropriately.

Preschool Age

Children ages 1–5 find it particularly hard to adjust to change and loss. These youngsters have not yet developed their own coping skills, so they must depend on parents, family members, and teachers to help them through difficult times.

Very young children may regress to an earlier behavioral stage after a violent or traumatic event. Preschoolers may resume thumbsucking or bedwetting, or may become afraid of strangers, animals, darkness, or “monsters.” They may cling to a parent or teacher, or become very attached to a place where they feel safe.

Changes in eating and sleeping habits are common, as are unexplainable aches and pains. Other symptoms to watch for are disobedience, hyperactivity, speech difficulties, and aggressive or withdrawn behavior. Preschoolers may tell exaggerated stories about the traumatic event or may refer to it repeatedly.

Early Childhood

Children ages 5–11 may have some of the same reactions that younger children have. They also may withdraw from playgroups and friends, compete more for the attention of parents, fear going to school, allow school performance to drop, become aggressive, or find it hard to concentrate. These children also may return to more childish behaviors, such as asking to be fed or dressed.

Adolescence

Children ages 12–14 are likely to have vague physical complaints when under stress, and may abandon chores, school work, or other responsibilities they previously handled. Though they may compete vigorously for attention from parents and teachers, they also may withdraw, resist authority, become disruptive at home or in the classroom, or begin to experiment with high-risk behaviors such as alcohol or drug use.

 These young people are at a developmental stage in which the opinions of others are very important. They need to be thought of as “normal” by their friends and are less concerned about relating well with adults or participating in family activities they once enjoyed.In later adolescence, teens may experience feelings of helplessness and guilt because they are unable to assume full adult responsibilities as the community responds to the traumatic event. Older teens may deny the extent of their reactions to the traumatic event.

How to Help

Reassurance is the key to helping children through a traumatic time. Very young children need a lot of cuddling, as well as verbal support. Answer questions about the event honestly, but do not dwell on frightening details or allow the subject to dominate family or classroom time indefinitely. Encourage children of all ages to express emotions through conversation, writing, or artwork and to find a way to help others who were affected by the event.

Try to maintain a normal household or classroom routine, and encourage children to participate in recreational activity. Temporarily reduce your expectations about performance in school or at home, perhaps by substituting less demanding responsibilities for normal chores.

Acknowledge that you, too, may have reactions associated with the traumatic event, and take steps to promote your own physical and emotional healing.

Tips for Talking to Children after a Traumatic Event

• Provide children with opportunities to talk about what they are seeing on television and to ask questions.
• Do not be afraid to admit that you cannot answer all of their questions.
• Answer questions at a level the child can understand.
• Provide ongoing opportunities for children to talk. They probably will have more questions as time goes on.
• Use this as an opportunity to establish a family emergency plan. Feeling that there is something you can do may be very comforting to both children and adults.
• Allow children to discuss other fears and concerns about unrelated issues. This is a good opportunity to explore these issues also.
• Monitor children’s television watching. Some parents may wish to limit their child’s exposure to graphic or troubling scenes. To the extent possible, be present when your child is watching news coverage of the event. It is at these times that questions might arise.
• Help children understand that there are no bad emotions and that a wide range of reactions is normal. Encourage children to express their feelings to adults (including teachers and parents) who can help them understand their sometimes strong and troubling emotions.
• Be careful not to scapegoat or generalize about any particular cultural or ethnic group. Try not to focus on blame.
• In addition to the tragic things they see, help children identify good things, such as heroic actions, families who unite and share support, and the assistance offered by people throughout the community.

When Talking Isn’t Enough

For some children more active interventions may be required, particularly if they were more directly affected by the traumatic event.

• The family, as a unit, might consider counseling. Traumatic events often reawaken a child’s fear of loss of parents (frequently a child’s greatest fear) at a time when parents may be preoccupied with their own practical and emotional difficulties.
• Families may choose to permit temporary regressive behavior. Several arrangements may help children separate gradually after the agreed-upon time limit: spending extra time with parents immediately before bedtime, leaving the child’s bedroom door slightly ajar, and using a nightlight.
• Many parents have their own fears of leaving a child alone after a traumatic event or other fears they may be unable to acknowledge. Parents often are more able to seek help on the children’s behalf and may, in fact, use the children’s problems as a way of asking for help for themselves and other family members.
• Teachers also can help children with art and play activities, as well as by encouraging group discussions in the classroom and informational presentations about the traumatic event.

Information provided by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Center for Mental Health Services.

by Specialized Children’s Services Director Lorna Mattern

Young children, toddlers, and preschoolers — even babies — know when bad things happen, and they remember what they have been through. After a scary event, we often see changes in their behavior. They may cry more, become clingy and not want us to leave, have temper tantrums, hit others, have problems sleeping, become afraid of things that didn’t bother them before, lose skills. . . . Changes like these are a sign that they need help. Here are some ways you can help them.

Safety – Focus on safety first. Your young child feels safe when you . . .

• Hold him or let him stay close to you.
• Tell her you will take care of her when things are scary or difficult. With children who are learning to talk, use simple words, like saying “Daddy’s here.”
• Keep him away from frightening TV images and scary conversations.
• Do familiar things, like singing a song you both like or telling a story.
• Let him know what will happen next (to the degree that you know).
• Have a predictable routine, at least for bedtime: a story, a prayer, cuddle time.
• Leave her with familiar people when you have to be away.
• Tell him where you are going and when you will come back.

Allow expression of feelings

• Young children often “behave badly” when they are worried or scared. Children can “act out” as a way of asking for help. Remember! Difficult feelings=Difficult behavior.
• Help your child name how she feels: “scared,” “happy,” “angry,” “sad.” Tell her it’s OK to feel that way.
• Show your child the right way to behave, like saying “It’s OK to be angry but it’s not OK to hit me.”
• Help your child express anger in ways that won’t hurt, using words, play, or drawings.
• Talk about the things that are going well to help you and your child feel good. 

Follow your child’s lead

• Different children need different things. Some children need to run around, others need to be held.
• Listen to your child and watch his behavior to figure out what he needs. 

Enable your child to tell the story of what happened during and after the hurricane.

• Having a story helps your child make sense of what happened and cope better with it.
• Children use play to tell their story. For example, they may throw blocks to show what the hurricane was like. They may separate toy animals to show how they were separated from you.
• Join your child in showing and telling not only what happened, step by step, but also how you both felt.
• As you tell the story, follow your child’s lead. When the story is difficult, your young child may need breaks: running around, being held, playing something else. This is OK. He will come back to the story when he is ready.
• It can be hard to watch your children’s play or listen to their stories of the hurricane. Get support if it is too hard for you to listen without becoming upset.

Ties – Reconnect with supportive people, community, culture and rituals

• Simple things like a familiar bedtime story, a song, a prayer, or family traditions remind you and your child of your way of life and offer hope.
• If you belong to a group, like a church, try to find ways of reconnecting with them.
• You can help your child best when you take care of yourself. Get support from others when you need it.

Your Child Needs You! This is the most important thing to remember.

• Reassure your child that you will be together.
• It is common for children to be clingy and worried about being away from you.
• If you need to leave your child, let her know for how long and when you are coming back. If possible, leave something that belongs to you, or a picture that your child can have.
• Just being with your child, even when you can’t fix things, helps your child.

Tips adapted from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network.